CK Limited press release
Sept 7, 2017 17:24:18 GMT -5
Ghiby * aka Gabe * and >Bryan< Solaryx like this
Post by Howard on Sept 7, 2017 17:24:18 GMT -5
Today, The Houston Times is reporting the discovery of a "major find" in the petroleum industry. Reports indicate that CK Limited, after extensive survey and study, has located a high grade deposit of oil. This find was kept secret until production facilities could be installed at the site. Production is expected to begin immediately.
A local reporter was able to catch up to the owner, Mr. Howard, after seeing his Prius on the 290. While he has frantically driving north to escape the impact of hurricane Harvey, the Prius just wasn't fast enough to escape the news van. A short interview ensued. Mr. Howard's comments included the following:
"How did I get in the oil business you ask? Good question. I've been making cheap clothing in Mexico for years now. The crazy loons in CA are paying top dollar for this imported junk. I was making so much money, I didn't know what to do with myself. After watching a rerun of Dallas, I thought to myself; hell, making clothing is hard work, this oil business seems easy. Build a derrick and watch the money flow. Plus the chicks are hot. So I planned a trip to the Houston area to do some surveying. While on a dove hunting trip, a ran across some tar oozing from the ground. I called in my people to survey the area, and they couldn't believe the find. I quickly arranged to buy the land from some idiot named Bush. I told him his land was contaminated and he couldn't sell it to me fast enough. He practically gave it way. So to make a short story long, we just finished installing all the extraction equipment and will be bringing the oil well online next week. Time to buy a Stetson and look for a white mansion on a hill. JR, i'm coming for you!"
A local reporter was able to catch up to the owner, Mr. Howard, after seeing his Prius on the 290. While he has frantically driving north to escape the impact of hurricane Harvey, the Prius just wasn't fast enough to escape the news van. A short interview ensued. Mr. Howard's comments included the following:
"How did I get in the oil business you ask? Good question. I've been making cheap clothing in Mexico for years now. The crazy loons in CA are paying top dollar for this imported junk. I was making so much money, I didn't know what to do with myself. After watching a rerun of Dallas, I thought to myself; hell, making clothing is hard work, this oil business seems easy. Build a derrick and watch the money flow. Plus the chicks are hot. So I planned a trip to the Houston area to do some surveying. While on a dove hunting trip, a ran across some tar oozing from the ground. I called in my people to survey the area, and they couldn't believe the find. I quickly arranged to buy the land from some idiot named Bush. I told him his land was contaminated and he couldn't sell it to me fast enough. He practically gave it way. So to make a short story long, we just finished installing all the extraction equipment and will be bringing the oil well online next week. Time to buy a Stetson and look for a white mansion on a hill. JR, i'm coming for you!"
